Things * NOT* to Say on a Second Date - Excerpts from the Dating Chronicles

My friend Carrie had another fix-up date(s) over the last few weeks. She went out with the guy two or three times. A close friend fixed her up with this fellow teacher guy that she had worked with at an elementary school. Why do people still try to fix up their friends? Dangerous, doomed territory, it seems. But, we try to be helpful and encouraging, and wouldn't it be nice if it actually worked?! I suppose it does work sometimes; that's why we keep trying.

Well, the first date was okay, as first dates go, but she wasn't super attracted to him. He showed up in a wrinkled shirt, and talked a lot about his intestinal problems. Not too appealing, yes. He invited her for a second date to see Eddie Money at the DTE. She wasn't too keen on the whole thing, but she thought she would give it a try. In between dates, he had emailed her, according to Carrie, about 30 times. Big "red flag" according to her. The night of the date, he picked her up, again wearing a very wrinkled shirt, and very casual shorts, and they chatted on their way. When they pulled in to park the car, she offered to pay for the 8 bucks for parking, and he readily took her money. She didn't like that either.

Later, after the concert, they stopped to get something to eat before heading home from Clarkston. They were sitting at a table in TGI Friday's and talked. She said something to the effect of, "Well, what about you... I should find out more about you," to which he wholeheartedly agreed, saying, "Yeah, I have been listening, and believe me, it's hard to get a word in edgewise!" She just nodded her head.

Needing to find conversation starters, and actually curious, she asked him what had happened in this marriage. She is divorced too, and was prepared to answer the same question. "She thought that my penis was too small," was his reply in the midst of a more explanation. Carrie, never at a loss for words, didn't have too much to say to that either.

They drove home and he dropped her off. Both of them got out of his car, and he followed her to her van. She promptly put the keys in the door and turned briefly to say goodnight, and he kissed her. She really didn't like that, and was actually trying to avoid anything that resembled physical contact.

The emails kept coming after that night, and he bugged her to tell him what was wrong. She told him that she wasn't interested.

Pumpkin Head - Excerpts from the Dating Chronicles

He seemed like a nice guy at work, so she said yes when he asked her out for a dinner and a trip to a local haunted house. Looking forward to the date that Saturday night, she deliberated carefully over a cute, but casual outfit, comparing a couple of clothing combinations on hangers before her extended arms.

The call came at 6:00 p.m. His truck had broken down and he wondered if she would mind picking him up and driving. It seemed rather odd, and she was a little disappointed, but she finally, said, “Okay, I’ll be there at 7:30,” thinking that things like this happen sometimes.

She picked him up at about 7:35, and they proceeded to the Michelle’s restaurant, a local diner, for dinner. Just as he was in the car, he was unusually quiet during dinner. She asked him questions about school, about the gym, about his family, but none of the questions spurred more than one sentence replies. She picked at her salad with the fork.
The bill came and he reached for his wallet, and stared twice inside it. He finally looked up at her and said, “Ummmm, would you mind going dutch this time? All I have is a five.” She stared at him angrily, but silently, and turned aside sharply for her wallet in her bag on the bench seat next to her.

The drive to the haunted house was quiet, too, and the wait in the rather long line could have been much more fun, considering the boisterous, and funny frightening atmosphere. It was cool outside, the air was damp, and it would have been nice to hold hands, or have an arm around her. Instead, they made stilted small talk and looked in opposite directions at the people stumbling out of the house and the crowd around them. Once they were inside, at the first big scare from a bellowing monster in green rubber mask and black cape, he grabbed a hold of her like a spooked child. He clutched to her several times like this during the trip through. He even tripped once and almost pushed her off the path.

She dropped him off just after the house, after a nearly silent trip home. There was a brief pause as she parked on the curb outside his house, and he turned to her and sincerely told her that he had a really nice time. When she got home there was email from him waiting for her in her inbox, again, gushing that he had a wonderful time, and looked forward to seeing her again sometime very soon. She didn’t reply.

When she saw him at work next, she didn’t talk to him anymore.

Kid's Advice on Love - Excerpts from the Dating Chronicles

Tips on Love
(by kids, 5-10 years of age)

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?

"Eighty-four, because at that age you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."(Judy, 8)

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."(Tom, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

"On the first date they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go on a second date." (Mike 10)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, because she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees youo, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)

THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE MARRIED OR SINGLE?

"It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9)

"It gives me aheadache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)

WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE

No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has to do something with how you smell. That's why perfume and deoderant are so popular." (Jan, 9)

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8).

WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE

"It's like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)

"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it." It takes too long." (Leo, 7)

THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE

"If you want to be loved by someone who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Diane, 9)

"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me - handsome like anything and I haven't got anyone to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)

Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)

WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS

"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them."(Dave, 8)

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'Sesame Street' is on television."(Anita,6)

"Love will find you even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been hiding from it since I was 5, but the girls keep finding me."

(Bobby, 8)

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)

QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER

One of you should know how to write a check because there's going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)

SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me."(Bart, 9)

HOW YOU TELL IF 2 ADULTS EATING DINNER IN A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE

"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love."(John, 9)

"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food."(Dave 8)

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are... on fire." (Christine, 9)

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY 'I LOVE YOU

'"The person is thinking, 'Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)

WHEN A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS

"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you."(Doug, 7)

"It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

"It's never OK to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I stopped doing it."(Jean, 10)

WHAT MAKES LOVE ENDURE

"Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love." (Roger, 8)

"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash."(Randy, 8)

Miss Spellings - Excerpts from the Dating Chronicles

Miss Spellings


One of my girlfriends, whom I have actually referenced before in my blogs, recently went out a couple of times with a fellow that she met on Match.com. They conversed via email a few times before they dated. After their third date, a night at his house watching a movie on his big screen TV, he didn’t kiss her goodnight. He gave her a hug.

They were emailing after this date, and he said, in his email, that she should use spell-check on her emails, as there were several spellings errors. He also added that she typed like a maniac. When she told me this, she laughed, saying she should send him back a derogatory email, with all misspelled, but easily identifiable insults. Granted, the woman does misspell a few words, and sometimes her words are jammed together in her messages. She’s my friend though, and as friends do, I overlook these things because I like the woman. She’s my pal.

He broke it off with her fairly soon after all this, via email. I tell my students this story as a cautionary tale. Misspellings, can, evidently, thwart your love life.

boxingmatch.com - Excerpts from the Dating Chronicles

By gorlox5 at 2007-08-12

Just this morning my gfriend called me to tell me about a big falling out that she had had with a close member of her group of friends. Both women have been scoping out the guys on Match.com. My friend S____ has recently noted on her profile that she soon she will be leaving match.com, and thus, it is everybody’s last chance to get in on some dating action with her. This strategy, though, seems to work because she has had a deluge of fellows sending their email addresses and phone numbers. Kinda like a going out of business sale, eh? Hmmm… maybe I should keep this approach in mind if ever needed.

Anyway, due to this deluge of interest, she was contacted by this guy named D____ whom she later met for coffee. Before the coffee, she informed several of the girl squad that she would be there with the new prospect, and they, indeed, showed up to check out the new guy. Her friend M____ was one of the girl squad stationed in the café, sizing up the new person.

Well, my friend S____ kinda likes this guy, and they have been talking and are planning on going out again. I think they even kissed goodbye on one of their recent casual meet-ups. She likes him, and is interested in getting to know him more. Her friend M____ knows all of this.

This weekend on Saturday, the new guy prospect mentioned to my friend that M___ had contacted him online, and in her email to him, she said that he seemed like a nice guy, and seemed eager to strike up a conversation with him. The new guy is also an elementary or middle school principal, and M____ is a teacher, looking for a job. Her email, however, seemed just flirty, and eager to talk to him more. So, understandably, my pal S___ was quite upset that her friend had contacted this guy, having been in the coffee shop when S_____ and D_____ met, and knowing that’s S______ was interested in the guy.

Not a very smooth move, eh? My friend, understandably, feels a bit betrayed, and embarrassed that her friend is trying to make some time with this guy, and also, trying to use him to land a job. Not very prudent moves on either front. I have more than one friend on match.com (I am, fortunately, not in this ring), so they have to carefully stake out their territories and be careful not to date the same guys. They have even met up on occasion to be sure that they were treading on each other’s supposed turf. However, this latest transgression on M____’s part was not an accident.

Quite the mess, eh? ding ding! The match continues.

Excerpts from the Dating Chronicles

Rapping with my gfriend the other day and, as we often do, we were talking about dating and men. She's in the midst of a troubling "friends with benefits" relationship with a guy that takes her up north to his cabin for a week, and then cancels dinner dates the next week. So, she is "keeping her eye out" for other prospects, or trying to. She is also a big workout person, and runs too. She was recently in 5k in Northville, and ran into this runner guy, who, I think, goes to her church in Livonia. A good, marathon running, god-fearing man. After the race, he was talking to her, and asked her for her email address, and asked her if she would like to get together sometime. She gave him her email address, and he did contact her.

They were rapping back and forth later the next week, and he asked her to get together for ice cream on a Tuesday night – the same night that they had been talking online. Later that afternoon, however, she got an email from his address with the message, " I like the yellow dress on you better, and you definitely should wear the bikini in the next picture." My pal and this guy had not been talking about their preferred attires at that point. She was surprised, as you would expect, and wrote the guy back, asking what was up?! He just responded that he had sent that message to the wrong woman, and he apologized, saying that he was really sorry and embarrassed. I don't think that they got ice cream that night. Perfect! Just what the woman needs.

* Hey! Do you have any worthwhile/funny dating stories? Send the story to me so that I can write them in my blog and get all the attention!